March is National Women’s History Month, which offers a perfect opportunity to shed light on an often overlooked population when it comes to mental health: mothers. Becoming a mother is an incredibly rewarding and amazing experience, but it comes with challenges that aren’t always openly discussed. For example, many mothers feel the weight of extreme guilt when they focus on their own self-care. However, nurturing your own mental health and recognizing signs of distress is essential for being a good mother. Caring for yourself sets a positive example for your children and helps you feel continually energized and refreshed as you take on the countless responsibilities of motherhood, rather than feeling stressed, burned out, or at the end of your rope.
The Selflessness of Motherhood
It’s natural to feel immense love for your children along with a protective instinct guiding you to do anything for your children. In fact, motherhood is often associated with sacrifices. For example, many mothers put their career or educational goals on hold to focus on their children. They may also give up other aspects of their lives as well, such as regular social interactions—not including attending play groups with other moms and children—creative hobbies, and self-care activities.
Many mothers struggle with a loss of their personal identity outside of being a parent, but it is important to bring balance to your life by caring for yourself as well as your child. Making time for yourself does not mean compromising your child’s well-being. Although mothers are often thought of as superheroes, they are only human, and they need self-care just like anyone else. Unfortunately, it is all too common for mothers to experience guilt when they take the time that they need for themselves.
The Realities of Postpartum Depression
Another challenge that moms frequently face is a disconnect between societal expectations and the realities of motherhood, especially as new moms. Before and during pregnancy, expecting moms may imagine that being a mother is uplifting, fulfilling, and comes with a natural ease. However, this is not always the reality. Some moms may experience a constant sense of worry or dread, some will feel constantly irritable or resentful, while others feel like they are just going through the motions. These are signs of postpartum depression, which is a common condition experienced by about 1 in 8 mothers in the U.S., and the risk is significantly higher for women of color.
Despite the prevalence of postpartum depression, however, many women struggle in silence because they feel like they are failing at motherhood and will be judged as bad parents. Others may simply not know where to turn for help. Black and Latina women are even less likely to initiate postpartum depression care with one study indicating that 9% of white women initiated postpartum mental health care compared to 4% of Black women and 5% of Latina women.
Vocalizing your feelings to your primary healthcare provider or a mental health professional can guide you toward solutions to manage your feelings and help you build a positive bond with your child. Remember that depression and anxiety will not simply go away on their own and are likely to get worse without treatment. Furthermore, experiencing depression is not indicative of being a bad parent, and it is not your fault that you feel this way.
The Traumas of Motherhood
Pregnancy is physically, emotionally, and mentally challenging for women, especially if there are complications that occur during labor and delivery. For example, an emergency c-section or having your newborn receive intensive care upon delivery can leave you feeling scared and powerless. Trauma during labor and delivery can lead to PTSD, which is experienced by about 9% of women after childbirth. PTSD can manifest symptoms like flashbacks, nightmares, intrusive thoughts, extreme worries or fears that something bad will happen to your baby, or feeling disconnected in your daily life.
Again, this is an area where racial disparities affect clinical outcomes, as the prevalence of trauma is even higher for women of color, who are more likely to experience complications and fatalities during childbirth. Just under three-quarters of Black women deliver in roughly one-quarter of this country’s hospitals, and those hospitals tend to have much higher rates of severe complications. Additionally, Black women frequently report feeling ignored by healthcare providers, particularly when experiencing pain during childbirth.
Unresolved trauma can also impact your ability to bond with your child, which can contribute to attachment disorders that create intergenerational trauma. Therefore, mothers dealing with any type of trauma—whether it stemmed from pregnancy or other life experiences—should seek trauma-informed mental health care.
How Mothers Can Cope
Appropriate mental health care is critical for mothers coping with depression, anxiety, PTSD, and other mental health conditions. It is also essential to carve out time in your schedule for self-nurturing, which may take the form of a walk, yoga class, gardening, or even a relaxing bath. Everyone needs time to reflect and enjoy a moment of quiet solitude. To facilitate these moments, you may need to reach out for help from your spouse, family, or friends, who should serve as a support network on your motherhood journey. If you are lacking support from your spouse, couples therapy may be helpful for developing a more cooperative relationship incorporating shared parental responsibilities.
If you are in crisis and need help immediately, contact SAMHSA’s National Helpline, which offers confidential assistance for individuals facing mental health disorders 24/7/365.
For ongoing support and care to cope with the challenges of motherhood, count on Integrated Behavioral Health. We can help you get on a path to recovery through talk therapy, medication management, mindfulness, trauma counseling, anger management, and more. Contact us on our website to request a new patient appointment at one of our Alabama clinics.